And I'd Always Thought Sirius was an Alto
by hardfootrk
Summary: “Though it was ALWAYS cleear!” “What do you think we should do with him?” Remus sat back, and watched his high friend. “I dunno, this kind of thing can last all night. We could be listening to the whole opera"
1. Think of Me!

Disclaimer: JKR owns everyone, and always will, forever and ever until the day the sun burns out...oh, and whoever composed _Phantom of the Opera _owns that song...

A/n: Here's the band fic that I really didn't ever intend to write...oh well. This is an intro, don't worry, the sugar won't wear off for a while. And don't say anything about them most likely not knowing about _Phantom of the Opera,_ I'm very much aware.

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"_Think of meee..."_

Remus and James looked up from the activity of the _Marauder's Map_, and put on their "When, where, and who gave you the sugar, Sirius?" expressions.

"_Think of me foo-ondly, when we've said good-bye..."_

A content mumbled came from the snoozing Wormtail, huddled into a small ball in the chair next to Sirius'.

"_Remember mee, every so oo-often..."_

Sirius, sprawled out on the velvet couch, belted out off-key notes, a drunken look over his pleasurable face.

"_Promise mee you'll tryy..."_

James glanced at Remus, and nodded. "Mischief Managed." he said softly, tapping the map with his wand. Remus came over to Sirius on his knees, and waved a hand in front of his face.

"_On that daaay, that noot so distance daaay..."_

James pocketed the map, and leaned over Sirius, tying a stern gaze with his.

"Definitely out of it. Check his pockets."

"Good idea. Let's turn him over." Remus lifted himself up, taking hold of one of Sirius' arms.

"_When you are faraway and freee..."_

James took hold of the other arm, and started to lift him, along with Remus.

"_If you ever fiind a momeent..."_

Sirius hung loosely in their arms, his tone a little groggy now. The other two shuffled onto an open space of carpet, and dropped Sirius carelessly on it.

"_SPARE a thought for mee..."_

"You check the left one, I'll check the right." Remus directed, digging his hand into the pocket of Sirius' pants. James did the same with the other pocket, a mesmerized wave coming over his face.

"I think he carried the whole bloody Honeyduke's cellar in here!"

"Looks like he used this one for Fizzing Whizzbes and Drooble's..."

"_And though it's cleear!"_

The two took their hands out, Remus shaking his head somberly.

"Poor chum. Didn't know what he got himself into." sighed James.

"_Though it was ALWAYS cleear!"_

"What do you think we should do with him?" Remus sat back, and watched his high friend.

"I dunno, this kind of thing can last all night. We could be listening to the full opera."

"No, not him! Wormtail." Remus jerked his head to the serene Peter, a small smile curved on his face.

"Oh, well...just leave him, he seems to be enjoying himself." James waved him off.

"_That this was never meant to bee..."_

"And we could just put a silencing charm on Sirius..."

"No, that gives him even stranger side effects. Remember what he wrote on the bathroom stalls?"

"Oh, yes, silencing does seem to...overwhelm him. I guess we'll just have to..."

"NO."

"We'll muffle him with pillows!"

"Moony, Sirius will never be silenced."

"Oh, you're right. I guess we'll just have to live with it."

"_If you happen to remembeeer..."_

Remus and James groaned together, took Sirius by the arms again, and dragged him up the stairs to their dormitory.

"_Stop and think of meeeeeee..." _

Remus snickered, and looked away from Sirius.

"What?" James narrowed his eyes menacingly at the werewolf.

"Did you hear him hit that soprano?"

"Yes, yes I did, and I don't want to hear it again..." James smirked, and tilted his head so his glasses would straighten.

"_Think of Auguust..."_

Remus kicked open the door, and helped lift Sirius onto his bed.

"_When the the trees were greeeen..."_

"Okay, Wormtail is sacrificing his pillows for the night." James pulled down a great number of fluffy pillows from the bunk, and threw them on top of Sirius.

"How many pillows does the guy need?" Remus teased, flipping back the sheets on his bed.

"Well, you know, I forced him to the top bunk, and he's afraid of heights."

"True."

"_Don't the think about the way thiiings might have beeen..."_

Sirius was a bit more muffled now, but still just as immensely irritating.

James gave a moan before taking his shirt off.

"Why should I even try and go to bed?"

"He'll have to drown out soon enough."

James arched and eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe not." Remus shrugged, and slid into bed, after pulling in Sirius' bed hangings.

"_Think of meee...think of me walkiiing..."_

"Ignore it, ignore it..." James took off his glasses, gave his hair a final ruffle, and climbed into the bed to the left of Remus, pulling the hangings also. Sirius was at Remus' right.

Probably by everyone else's instinct had he gotten a whole bunk to himself.

"_Silent and resiiigned. Imagine mee, trying to haard, to put you from my miiiiiind..."_

Remus flicked his wand, and the candles went out, leaving wisps of smoke trailing from the wick.

He finally pulled his scarlet hangings, complete seriousness over his face.

"_Think of meeee, please say you'll thiiink of meee, whatever else you choose to doooo..."_

"Don't...listen...to...oh, it's so horrible..."

"_There will never beee, a daaay when I won't thiink of yooou."_

Remus pushed his index fingers against his temples, trying to shut out the horrible noise. James started to bang his head against his pillow, giving up life.

Sirius took a dramatic gasp, and continued on in a lower voice.

"_Can it be? Can it be Christine? Long agooo, it seems so long agoo how young and innocent we weeere. She may not remember meee, but I remember heer..."_

He switched back to a higher voice.

"_Flowers faaade, the fruits of summer faade. They have their season, so do weee..."_

"Yes, and your season should be locked in a room surrounded with foam walls."

"_But please promise me that sometiimes, you wiiill thiiink..."_

Suddenly, there was silence. Sirius had stopped the song. Two sighs of relief were heard from Remus and James as they gloated in the silence.

Three minutes. Three precious minutes is what they got.

"_Aaaah-ah-ah-ah-aaaah, aaah-ah-ah-ah-aaaah, oh-ah-oh-ah-oh-ah-oooohh-aaah-oooh...aaaaah-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHF MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_

"HOLY...!" James shot upright, scared, and annoyed as heck. "SIRIUS!"

No muffled reply. True silence. True, true silence.

Well, except for Remus, who was laughing...quite hysterically.

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A/n: I know, I cut yah off kinda short here. Don't worry, I'm starting the next chapter as soon as I post this.


	2. Snozzberry Muffins

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything, so just know I'm not claiming them...

A/n: Matters how you look at it, but if you want to consider it as that, there is mild slahyness in this chapter. Review:

**Stacy-comedy-** Oh, lucky you. XD No, he's singing a song from _Phantom of the Opera_, obviously all in italics. He had too much sugar...obviously. I just like to think the effects were a bit exaggerated on him. And the Peter thing was kind of me...what's the word...rambling? I guess. I shouldn't of made Remus look at Sirius saying that. They were just thinking whether or not they should wake him up. Sorry, I noticed that that chapter was badly written.

**lightdragon1987-**Glad you liked it!

**Lobo Diablo**- Hm, imagine James and Sirius singing opera together?

**Nightelf**- Definitely. I was tired of making him so serious.

**tree1- **Yes, I noticed the first chapter was a bit confusing.

**Red-head attack-** Yeah, I was playing that song on the piano, and just ended up choosing it for him to sing, or it would've been "Summer Nights"...not saying I won't have him sing that ;)

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Remus could still feel the bubbly feeling in his stomach from cracking up at Sirius the recent night when he awoke.

He really wasn't the troubled, bookworm, extremely grave boy everyone saw him as. He enjoyed a stupid moment just as much as anyone else.

His eyes were still closed, and he still felt heavy in the limbs.

_Stretch, you lazy bum. _Remus reached his leg out to the side, gliding over a...hairy leg?

"WHA?" His tired eyes jolted open, looking into the face of a smiling Sirius.

"Moony!" Sirius had the most galvanic look on his face, along with brainlessness.

"WHAT ARE YOU...?" Remus scrambled out of his bed, catching the sheets along the way, so that when he landed on the ground, his leg was held up like a sling.

Sirius rolled over, so that his chin was resting on the edge of the bed. He still had a blank smile on. Remus gawked at him, not even bothering to go into a more comfortable position.

"You want to know what I was thinking last night, Moony?"

"You were _thinking?_"

"Yes, I was thinking about my voice."

"What about your voice?"

Sirius turned his head to look at the Remus, his ebony hair falling gracefully in front of his eyes.

"I was thinking '_Sirius, you bloody handsome brute, you have some kind of voice'_."

"And that kind of voice was maybe in a different category, other than beautiful, perhaps?"

"No, silly!"

A grunt was heard from James' bed, and the hangings were thinly parted, revealing a disgruntled head and neck of James. He blinked muddily a few times, gazing at Sirius(whom looked like a blob, due to James being without his glasses), and then lifted his head a bit more, slowly, looking at Remus.

"Sweet mother of Merlin, what are you two doing?" James questioned, goggling. Sirius swung his legs up and down, _giggling._

"No! Argh..." Remus struggled his leg out of the sheet loop hastily, turning pink. Sirius looked at him amusingly, linking his fingers, and setting his chin on their surface primly.

"Hold on, let me get my glasses." James disappeared back into the curtains, giving a sudden cry of anguish. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"

Sirius chuckled, and looked as though he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"What...did...you...do...to...Prongs?" Remus mumbled through his fingers, which were covering his mouth in fret.

James tumbled out through the curtains, and stormed over to Sirius, propping his leg up on the bed.

"Yes, Jameskin?"

"My legs."

"Yes, those are your legs, aren't they?"

"Look...at...my...legs."

Sirius grinned blankly at James. Remus felt his stomach bubble again, and chortled.

"They're _shaved_."

"With Lily's raspberry shaving gel..."

Delight flashed over James' face, but he covered it with intentness. He tapped his fingers impatiently on his smooth, shiny legs.

"How exactly did you manage to get Lily's shaving gel?"

"From the showers of course."

"And how did you get her_ exact_ shaving gel?"

"Well, she was the one taking shower." Sirius finished off in a matter-of-fact way. Remus fell to the ground from intensive laughter, to much of Sirius' bliss. James' head looked like a transparent volcano, the color rushing up, and finally erupting.

"YOU WALKED IN ON LILY WHILE SHE WAS TAKING A SHOWER?"

Sirius waggled his eyebrows.

"So?"

Remus started to gag from his eternal cackling.

James balled his fist, and turned away fleetly, storming into the bathroom. He slammed the door roughly.

Remus gasped for air like a fish, grabbing the brim of the bed for support. His

mellow eyes were teary, and he was flushed.

"Wooh...wow...that was good..."

Sirius gazed at Remus thoughtfully.

"What...why are you...looking at me...like...that...?" Remus struggled out breathlessly.

A smirk rounded on Sirius' lips.

"Why...are...you...smirking?" Remus inched away, laughing nervously.

Sirius squirmed so he was centimeters away from Remus.

"Sir...Sirius?"

Ah, their fate. Before Remus could blink, Sirius tumbled down, and was embracing him in the most uncomfortable(or wanted for that matter...at the moment at least) hug.

"Sirius! NO! No, no, no! Geroff! No, bad! Bad boy!" Remus scolded Sirius with difficulty, being crushed under the tremendous weight, well, tremendous to Remus that is.

James peered his head out of the bathroom door, giving Remus a raspberry, then locking himself back in.

"Very funny, Prongs! Now HELP!" Remus kicked the floor repeatedly, and twisted around in Sirius' arms.

"Remmy-poo!"

"NOOO!"

The door of the dormitory burst open, and a frazzled looking Lily stood in the midst of it.

"Lily?"

"LILY!"

James once again poked his head out the door, his mouth foaming with toothpaste. "Lily-flower?"

Lily stomped up to James furiously, surpassing Remus and Sirius without a second glance.

"_Control him."_ Lily growled, pointing shrilly to the beaming Sirius. With that, she treaded back out, stopping before shutting the door. She nodded toward Remus and Sirius.

"Oh, I suggest that you lock the door next time." Then gave a door a final, angry slam.

James turned his head sinisterly, clenching his teeth, the foam dripping like a rabid dog. He stared directly at Sirius, who gave a cheery thumbs-up in return.

"I think that went well. Don't you?" Sirius asked for Remus' opinion.

"You bloody little prat." James dove right for Sirius, and started to wrestle with him immediately. Remus managed to wriggle out from under them, heaving quite heavily.

"Jamesy, are you mad that I saw your precious Lily-flower that glistens under the silver light of the moon, who's hair cascades down her back like a waterfall of autumn leaves on a crisp fall morning, who's eyes have the resemblance..."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, PADFOOT, YOU SLIMY LITTLE-"

"...And has the laugh of the wind at night that tickles your hair, and gives you those chills that seem to comfort, who smells of roses decorated with sparkling dew from the peak of the morning, that..."

"I AM GOING TO SHRED YOU INTO CENTIMETER THICK STRIPS, AND COOK YOU ON A SMOKER FOR SIXTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT-"

"...lips like a calf's muzzle, in the nude before you?"

Sirius, now in a headlock, finished off promptly, joy still on his face. Remus tiptoed out of the room, flattening himself against the wall, and shutting the door softly with his foot. He was not looking forward to another suffocating hug by Sirius.

"I don't think Sirius stayed under those pillows the whole night..." he whispered to himself.

A yell was heard, and Sirius came slipping out of the door, panting. Remus stumbled backwards, and coward in a corner as Sirius advanced on him.

"Okay, as I was saying, I noticed what a great voice I had, and-" Sirius started to chatter wildly, not even taking a moment to explain what had just happened.

"_Sirius_?"

"What?"

"Are you...okay? What did you do to James?"

"WELL, of course, I'm fine! And I just gave Jamesy a larger chest, that's all. Let me get on with my idea."

"Idea?"

"Yes. Don't you play that odd, little piano-y thingy?"

"Well, I used to. With my mum being a muggle and all, she had taught me the notes and...wait. Why do you want to know if I can play the piano?"

"We can call ourselves the _Snozzberry Muffins. _We'll have to take you away from the piano, and put you on the drums...Wormy can have the keyboard, and Prongs and I on the guitars, being the lead singers, of course. No offense to you."

"Wha..what? Are you suggesting we have a band? That I teach you guys all these notes, and we perform for the school or something? _Snozzberry Muffins_?"

"Well, we would start out with performing for Gryffindor, then maybe have holiday concerts in the Great Hall..."

"But..._Snozzberry Muffins_?"

"Well, what do you think we would be called? The...the..._blueberry _muffins, or some nonsense like that?"

"Pad...padfoot..." Remus thwacked Sirius in the back of the head. "_You are on sugar. You don't know what you're saying_."

Sirius stared in query at Remus, then turned away, and walked back into the dormitory.

Remus exhaled loudly, and followed after him.

"Better fix Prongs'...er...upper-body..." Remus mumbled, closing the door after him.

"_Snozzberry muffins, it's perfect! Isn't it?"_

"_Padfoot, you've already given me...this. I'm not agreeing to a band right now."_

"_It's a great idea!"_

"_Lads...um, maybe we should go over this after we fix Prongs?"_

"_...You can't go wrong with Snozzberry muffins though!"_

"_Remember the Gryffindor Bakery idea?"_

"_So what if we accidentally made demonic cinnamon rolls? The muffins were still good."_

"_Actually, the whole idea was just for Padfoot's muffin cravings..."_

"_Mmm...but Snozzberry Muffins! You just can't go wrong!"_

"_PADFOOT!"_

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A/n: Sorry, I was having internet problems. -stabs computer-

Well, I got a bit carried away in this chapter. Sorry if the last dialogue part is confusing.

Well, I want opinions! Say in your review whether or not they should name their future band the _Snozzberry Muffins_, copyright of Willy Wonka, or your own idea!


	3. Agreeing to Snozzberries and Muffins

Disclaimer: I don't oooowwwnnnn ANYONE! WOOHOO!

A/n: -rises dramatically out of flames- I LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVE! Okay, my excuse for the extremely long wait?

Life.

Woohoo.

Anyahoot, I'm gonna try and catch up on my other stories. I feel really bad not being frequent with my writing. Oh, today I saw this guy that looked exactly like how I saw Moony. Then I noticed how short he was. And all I got was opinion on the name "Snozzberry Muffins" for the band. You can put in what you think they should be called. Well, guess we'll have to stick with Sirius' vote for now. Guess I'll reply to these reviews.

**Stacy-comedy- **Well, I feel really bad about the long wait. Snozz and berry and muffins. Easy as that. Pity you, you've never seen Willy Wonka! He's my hero! Yes, I liked your set up the best. Yeah, I forgot about him in the last chapter, but I've been so anti-Peter that it's hard for me to remember him. She is, eh?

**lightdragon1987-** Well, you could've said what name would be good one! Sheesh. Joking. Yeah, I reread the last chapter, and noticed it sucked.

**Red-head-attack- **What else?

**carpe-nox-sulum-nox-** FAST INDEED! AS QUICK AS THE WIND! I might grab someone to play the sax...or Sirius might. Yeah, that's the dude.

**IamSiriusgrl- **Well, good for you.

**evil-pillow-** I'M HURRYING, I'M HURRYING! -dies-

**SiriusNoDEAD- **Listen to the person's name! Anywho. Willy Wonka is awesome. There will be more of him, trust me. No, this isn't SLASH or anything, just some joking around with the idea of it. Well, looking at some parts, you can consider it that...

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"MOONY! PRONGS! WORMTAIL! I GOTS A SURPRISE FOR YOU!"

Sirius Black yelled down from the dormitory, beaming.

Two boys looked up from their buzzing game of wizard's chess, their faces falling. "He still has the sugar. We shouldn't go up." the one with a mop of jet black hair, James, said, gathering up the remains of his opponent's chess piece. The other, Peter, scratched his head, and gazed intently at the chess board, then shrugged it off.

"You never know with Padfoot, he could have discovered some humiliating thing about Snivellus." Peter said, started to stand up.

"Yeah, that would be big surprise." another voice added from the comfiest chair of the Gryffindor Common Room. Remus Lupin flipped the page of a red, leather book, and took a chunk out of a chocolate bar. "We really should start watching that he doesn't sneak off and get all that sugar..." A couple of cocoa crumbs rolled down his chin.

"Alrighty, then, Moony." James smirked, and whispered something to his surviving chess pieces. Peter turned to Remus, his watery eyes thoughtful.

"Yah know, I kinda wished I hadn't missed the whole 'Sugar-high Sirius' experience. I bet it was funny."

"It _was_ funny." Remus unraveled the golden wrapper of his chocolate, holding it between his teeth while looking back into the index of his book, and keeping his page.

James scoffed. "Funny until my legs were shaven, and he hugged you." He looked down moodily at his legs, which he made sure were always covered, and Remus shuddered.

"And then the whole band idea happened..._Snozzberry Muffins. _It's just so..._Snozzberry Muffins?_" The werewolf shook his head in disbelief at the name.

"MATES! WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG!" Sirius called down again.

"That's probably what this whole thing is about. The band." Peter stood up, almost looking eager to see what Sirius had waiting for them.

"You actually think he's going through with that idea?" James said, giving his fingers a snap. Suddenly, his remaining chess pieces charged forward and started to smash Peter's king with their weapons.

"Gone with yooou!" squealed. the miniscule voice of a bishop.

James sneered. "Check mate."

"You always cheat!" Peter flounced, and started to walk to the stairs.

"Wouldn't go in alone if I were you." Remus set down his book, holding the chocolate bar loosely in his hand. He caught up with Peter, and started up the first few steps. "Um..." He turned back to James. "I'm not letting you just sit there."

James nestled himself into the rug, and looked smugly back at Remus. "I'm not moving from this spot just to hear some dumb idea, or whatever the bloke has up there."

"GET UP HERE, OR ELSE I'LL WALK AROUND THE SCHOOL IN NOTHING BUT BOXERS AND A TIE FOR ONE DAY! AND ALL THREE OF YOU COME UP HERE!" A look of horror flashed across James' face, and he leapt up from the ground.

"We can't get ourselves out of that one." He came up behind Remus, and pushed him up the stairs. "Let's not keep him waiting."

Peter bounced up ahead of them, then slowed down, walking into the room casually. The other two heard a squeak of surprise from him.

"Great." Remus and James ambled up the stairs reluctantly, finally entering into their dormitory.

"Oh, blimey. You didn't." Remus dropped his chocolate bar, staring in awe at what stood before him.

Two glistening black guitars on their stands, a large set of drums, a full-length keyboard, and two microphones.

"Isn't it great?" Sirius came up behind James and Remus, wrapping two friendly arms around them.

Peter went beside his friends, gaping softly. "How...how did you get all of this?"

"I don't wanna know..." groaned James, taking a seat on the bed.

"Oh, good. Story time!" Sirius pulled the other two down on the bed next to James.

"I don't even know what half of this stuff is..." James said, Remus nodding in agreement.

"They're instruments, of course!" Sirius plopped down on the floor, grinning.

"If you're thinking about a band..."

"How did I get these things, you ask? Well, I got this book first of all from the restricted section." Sirius took a massive book from under the keyboard, and set it on Jame's lap, who started to read the title aloud shakily.

"_Transfiguring Random Things Into Modern Objects...For **Dummies**_?" James raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "No book like this could seriously exist..."

"Your looking at what used to be extra desks, my friends. It took some of that night that I'm having a hard time remembering." A piece of candy slipped out of Sirius' pocket.

"You _do _needa get off that sugar, Sirius." Remus examined his chocolate, making sure it was sanitary, then took a bite.

"Look who's talkin'." James mumbled.

The other three pointed to James silently.

"Right." James looked away, whistling.

"Anyway, our good friend Moony here volunteered to teach us the notes-"

"Absolutely not! This band thing is NOT going through!" Remus said firmly.

"-but we won't be needing his help, for these instruments do some handy dandy things." Sirius said, ignoring Remus' remarks. Peter got up from the bed, and walked into the midst of the instruments. He glided a hand over one of the guitars with dreamy eyes.

"And I've assigned all of us to _certain _instruments," Sirius said 'certain' quite heavily, giving a weary glance toward Peter, "James and I on the guitars-"

Peter grunted, and narrowed his eyes at Sirius.

"-Moony on the drums-"

Remus started to speak at this, Sirius ignoring him completely.

"-and last, but not most, Peter is on the keyboard."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a few moments. Peter was looking quite disgruntled, James was burning holes through Sirius' head with his eyes, and Remus was biting his lip thoughtfully. All the while, Sirius was grinning stupidly, waiting for some kind of reply.

Remus spoke up.

"What, um, "handy-dandy" things do these instruments do, exactly?" he asked. Sirius exhaled.

"I'm a wizard. I have a wand. I wave it. Things _happen._" he said, twirling his wand like a baton. "They play themselves, of course. We just have to fake it."

"No." James and Peter both chorused together, cutting off Remus' very breath.

"C'mon! It will be fun. What's the risk of this compared to what we do on full moons?"

"Fairly equal risks-"

"Shut up, Prongs."

James chewed on his tongue, and rubbed his chin. Really...odd looking, actually.

Anywho.

He gave a worn eye to Sirius.

"Do you think if I was a lead singer...Lily might like me...maybe..."

"Of course." Sirius smirked at James. One down. Two to go.

"Well, guess I'll join in then. Although, I'm not happy at all with the whole keyboard thing and-" Peter started, going along with the whole idea since he was a wuss and all...

"GREAT!" Sirius rolled his head steadily to look at Remus, followed by Peter and James.

"Hold it!" Remus bellowed, holding his hands out. "I'll agree to the band-"

Sirius sprang up, spreading his arms out for a hug.

"-as long as we aren't called-"

Sirius' face dropped entirely.

"-the _Snozzberry Muffins_."

A/n: This chapter is a bit pointless. Oh well. I will have another up maybe tonight or tomorrow or the next day.

Or whenever I can fit it into my screwed life.

Revie! -blows kisses to reviewers- I love you! Even if I have neglected you!

Oh, poo. Spit fire at me, I'll take it all. -gazes at Phantom of the Opera-


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